Sexism Is Not Dead

People are likely to challenge the notion that there is still a lot of work to be done to combat sexism in society. Feminism in the mainstream public imagination is a relic of the 1960s and 70s, in much the same way racism is seen as a 20th century issue that was magically solved with the Civil Rights Act. This way of thinking is dangerous to progress.

It is clear to all who are listening that despite the fact that there are more women in the workplace than ever, sexism is as strong as it has ever been. The mistaken belief that feminism defeated sexism in the 1970s allows the patriarchy to run unchecked. As a result, women AND men suffer.

As an outspoken feminist, I've seen my fair share of violent, sexist rhetoric. My Block list on tumblr, for example, is comprised almost exclusively of antifeminists who have targeted me based on social justice issues I've voiced my concerns about. I've been called a "feminzai" more than once - and as a Jewish woman, it offends me deeply. I've had gendered slurs hurled at me by the very same men who claim that sexism is dead. And every time I've had arguments with these men, they have made personal attacks, not logical ones.

One such incident happened in person. A half an hour before one of my political science finals, I arrived to find a student I had had many disagreements with over the course of the semester sitting at the professor's desk in her absence reading from a book by Michael Savage to the other assembled students. For those of you who don't know who Michael Savage is: There is a talk radio lunacy scale. Rush Limbaugh is, amazingly, only the first step. He is followed by Sean Hannity and Mark Levin. The top tier would be Michael Savage, a man who makes many Tea Partiers look positively moderate by comparison. I promptly turned around and said to the class "Let me know when he's done spouting his bullshit," and walked out of the room. The student, a Republican from South Carolina named Adam, had only started reading from Savage's book when I stepped into the classroom; I had no doubt he was trying to antagonize me.

I waited ten minutes, and then reentered the room. As I predicted, Savage's book was long gone. The peace, however, did not last long. Adam began discussing the Obama administration's position on drone strikes and, yet again, turned to challenge me. When he said "We're not the ones killing innocent people," I laughed.

"And what do you call the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq?" I asked him.

"We're pro-life."

"Anti-abortion is not pro-life." I was just hoping he would bring me into an abortion debate. I was ready. And then he smiled the nastiest smile I've ever seen.

"Oh I know what's going on," he said, staring directly at me. "It's that time of the month and the government hasn't given you your medication yet."

That was the closest I've ever been to physical violence. I nearly left my seat and smacked him across his horrible arrogant face. The only thing that stayed my hand was the fact that I had a final exam. As the rest of the students in the room chattered nervously, I said to Adam in a low voice: "How fucking dare you."

Adam knew that he had thrown logic aside and resorted to personal attacks to rile me. And to this day I have no doubt that the only reason he did so was because I am a woman. It is a common trend: in a debate, men try to remain civil. If it is between a man and a woman, there is a noticeable lack of respect present. As I stood ready to engage in debate with an illogical conservative, he killed the discussion.

What made this even worse was my classmates' response. One person said "You really shouldn't have said that." But as I told Adam off, another student said, "But you're letting this get to you, it's what he wants." Others agreed.

At that moment I knew I was alone. Instead of standing up for a woman who had just been subjected to a horribly sexist personal attack, the class believed it was my responsibility to let it slide.

Patriarchal society would have us think it is up to women to not be offended, rather than up to the man to curb his sexism. Until we decide that, as a society, we must confront sexism in every setting, especially casual ones, women will continue to be victimized and dismissed.

Sexism is not dead. But it should be.